The BALD TRUTH - Work/Life balance is B*LLSH*!

There’s been a lot of talk and discussion over the past few decades about the work life balance, and today we have companies that provide training in this area and basically teach us a lot of stuff that sounds great but has little to do with reality. So, are we helpless? Is there any way we can achieve a perfect work life balance, perform in our careers and still manage to spend time with our family? Oh, but there is. Of course, at first the “I don’t know what to do” kicks in and we find ourselves trapped in between what we must do, what we have to and what we actually want to do.

Of course, the most important thing is how you approach the situation, how you position yourself in relationship to it and afterwards what you do about it. There’s this powerful saying I agree with completely that says “No man is trapped except in his own mind”. So let’s set things straight and get you out of this mess.

First of all, you need to take a few steps back and look at it from up above, because when work life balance is messed up, you’ve gotten yourself in a little too many details. What is your dream? What do you want to do with your life? What is your true, deep inside calling? This is the starting point and you need to take some time to answer it.

Don’t worry, it will come to you and you will know. Then do a right and rigorous self-assessment of yourself.  What is really important to you? What are the things in your life you couldn’t do without? What are your values? What are the guidelines you have set for your life? Take some time to think about what truly matters for yourself. After you’ve got your answers about your dream, your calling, and your truest values, it’s time to look at your job. Are we talking about the right job fit here? They say that one who loves his work will not work a single day in his life.

Are you that one? Be honest to yourself and at the same time take your time. It’s the perfect time to slow down just a notch, now that things are beginning to look more clear and everything is more obvious and out there. Now it’s time for the right focus to kick in. Start to focus on the things that matter, the things you love to do, focus on your dream, focus on your inner peace and happiness. In the end, these are the things that matter the most.

Coach Rick Kolster, CBC is a certified business/life coach, the author of Roll Up Your Sleeves and Get To Work as well as an expert on developing leaders and designing strategy for companies. He can be contacted at 817-748-7425 or   Rick@CoachRickKolster.com 

www.CoachRickKolster.com

The BALD TRUTH - Positive Thinking

What are you feeding your mind daily? Jessica feeds her brain with good stuff. How about you?

Our minds cannot distinguish between what is real or what is made up.  We spend much of our time telling ourselves what we believe is real.  Sometimes we spend much of our time living a MSU life. That is a world of Making Stuff Up.  It's how we are wired.  We see something and come to a conclusion based on our own experiences.  many times, our experiences taint our thoughts and we make up what we believe to be true.

Think about it.  You are driving down the road, it is just starting to get dark, but clear out. You look are a little behind (as usual) and pushing the speed limit just a little bit.  You are cruising along and all of a sudden you see a car coming up on you from behind and then the blue and red lights pop on and it starts to speed up and gain ground on you.  At that instant what is happening to your mind, what are you thinking?  probably, crap, I'm going to get a ticket.  Now take an inventory on How is your body reacting.  Is your blood pressure up? Is your stomach in a knot?  Are you sweating?

Answer... YES!!  Your brain is telling you that you are getting pulled over and probably going to get a speeding ticket.  Back to real time... While all that is going on the police car is gaining on you and comes up behind you, then suddenly swerves into the left hand lane and blows right by lights and siren blaring. WHEW!!! That was close.

Now think about it. were you really getting pulled over?  NO! did you think you were? YES! did you react physiologically as if you were getting pulled over?  YES!  Why?  Because our brains know only what we tell it them.  We decide what is real.  So how can this help you be more positive?

Easy. tell yourself good thing, things that will empower you. Things that will make you believe good will happen. You will get that deal, you will win that game, you will love stronger and deeper, you can get that promotion.

Intention is so powerful. If you watch the video you will see how Jessica tells her self she loves everything about her life.  She is happy, she is positive and she is looking at the good she has rather than the things she doesn't.  What would change for you if you looked at the good in your life? The great things you do have rather than what is missing and is crappy?  Tell yourself it will all work out for the best and I guarentee it will turn out much better than if you whine about it.  AND the people around you will thank yo too.

Thing positive and see what happens..

Coach Rick Kolster, CBC is the founder of the Peak Performance Group. He speaks The BALD TRUTH and works with leaders to “Roll Up Your Sleeves and Get To Work!” 

Pre-order his new book "Roll Up Your Sleeves and Get To Work" here: www.rollupyoursleevesbook.com 
www.plus.google.com/CoachRickKolsterCBC 

The BALD TRUTH - Mr PBJ

Snowball Express is a charity event that brings the surviving families of our fallen soldiers and heroes  into Dallas/Fort Worth for five days of fun and events.  1700 of them to be exact!

During this event I see so much happen that is good and good and funny. I learned from fellow NSA member Darren LaCroix that the humor is found in the problem and the serious in the solution.  I believe there is humor in the solution as well.

My first challenge.

Imagine you are a volunteer, trying to help wherever you can, however you can.  1700 family members are in line to be fed dinner, a Texas style BBQ dinner then walk over to see a rodeo.  Now you’ve got to know, some of these kids are not going to want BBQ. And guess what?   I found ALL of them!  Once one found me they ALL found me.  I was asked by a mom to help with finding an alternate food option (other than BBQ) for her daughter. Looking like a deer in the headlights I said what any good volunteer would say, “Sure, I can do that!”  HOLY COW I thought.  Now what?

Just where am I going to get an “alternate” food option for her daughter?  But I said yes, so off I went.  Now what?  I walked outside thinking I might see a fast food place.  Luckily, there was a hotel right near the venue.  I ran across the street and up to the front desk.  The desk clerk looked at me and asked “How can I help?” Normal answer, right?  I asked him, “Do you serve breakfast?”  Answer, “Yes.”  “OK” I said, “now I need a loaf of bread, some of those little cups of peanut butter you have on the buffet and some jelly.  Oh - and a knife too please.”  Alternate food option problem solved!  This is how I became known as “Mr. PBJ” at Snowball Express.

Now my second challenge

How do you move 1700 mothers and children, all of their baggage and accessories from a hotel to their flight home in less than 3 ½ hours?

Answer:  You call the local high school football team, ask for some volunteers, point them at the bags and people and tell them GO!  Then, sit back and watch the fun. This is exactly what happened at the Snowball Express charity event in December 2011. There was the best competition to see who could move the most bags from the buses to the ticket counter the fastest. Talk about funny! It was like watching newborn colts try to walk.  Legs, boxes and bags everywhere!

So you might be asking yourself, why should I volunteer? There are too many reasons to list but number one is this. It is the right thing to do – and its fun!  We all have a chance to make a difference; we've got to take it! It may also unknowingly lead to business somewhere down the road that you never even expected.

Who should you volunteer for? Pick your passion. Go with something that drives you, just like your business. What gets you going? That’s where you give your time.

Is there humor in volunteering?  Absolutely.  Just like me you will find humor in the most unlikely places. Be open and give back, make a difference. And always remember to smile and laugh. You never know who is watching.

PS:  BTW I am now known as PBJ to some wonderful kids.  I have come to love all my Snowball kids like my own. This is a blessing far greater than I ever deserve for making a couple peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

Coach Rick Kolster, CBC is the founder of the Peak Performance Group. He speaks The BALD TRUTH and works with leaders to “Roll Up Your Sleeves and Get To Work!” 

Coach Rick Kolster is an executive coach and thought leader who works with business owners and executives to help them maximize their efforts, gain life balance and learn how they can be the best leader they can be.

INTER-DEPENDENCE, CO-DEPENDENCE and INDEPENDENCE

The critical difference between INTER-DEPENDENCE, CO-DEPENDENCE and INDEPENDENCE!

There are a lot of people who are unwittingly sabotaging their future relationship effort by the misunderstanding of very different terms and ideas when it comes to relationships. First.. Lets briefly define these terms.

Co-Dependent - Neither the man or the woman can do anything apart from each other. With the lack of support or motivation both of them will likely fail at achieving their individual aims that benefit the relationship. Its like being tied at the hip or by a rope. if one falls both fall. If one is late then both are late. If one is unsure then both are unsure.

Independent - This is where the person stays single or if they seek a relationship they assert that they don't need anybody which is the unhealthy extreme opposite co-dependency. This person sometimes seeks to cut even healthy ties, reliance and dependence to demonstrate that they are able to operate on their own. The fierce need to show their mate that they can survive without them often ends in the mate giving them what it seems like they want.

Inter-Dependent - Is a state where both partners are able to independently operate but are motivated by agreement and not need or desperation. They come together to do what is best for their relationship. They LIKE to be with their partner and prefer their company but are not emotionally crippled if it is not available as with co-dependence. This is the mature balance between co-dependency and independence.

Co-dependency and independence will likely cause you much headache with very little reward. Seek to find a reliable partner that you can depend on and work also to be a support for them while maintaining your own identity and carrying your weight in the relationship.


Reprinted from Relationship Matters  https://www.facebook.com/RelationshipsMattersByEngJack?hc_location=stream

Coach Rick Kolster is an executive coach and thought leader who works with business owners and executives to help them maximize their efforts, gain life balance and learn how they can be the best leader they can be.

Are you HAPPY?

Are you Happy?

Today I saw one of the best pictures that described happiness.

The thought process goes like this. Ask yourself: Am I Happy? If the answer is yes, then the answer is simple, Keep doing what you are doing. If the answer is NO, ask yourself “Do I want to be happy?” If the answer is YES then change what you are doing. If the answer is NO, keep doing what you are doing. The choice is yours.

I understand and believe that happiness is a choice. Each morning we have a choice in which way we approach the day. Happy or pissed off. Your choice. Do you wake up and grunt, groan and moan that you would rather be back in the bed. Or do you wake up, embrace what is in front of you, the day that is yours to use and look at the opportunities it will provide. It doesn't matter what opportunities you face, it is how you deal with them that really determines your outcome. Are you choosing to make the best of it or are you going to find the whine in it? Your call.

Waking up with the thought that I want to be happy will get you start looking at what do I have to do to be happy. You see the moment you ask how can I be happy or say I want to be happy you begin to find happiness. So, to make the day, your day, it is critical to look for the positive. The good in the time you have. This month I have had the chance to meet one of the bravest men I think I have ever met.

Let’s call him Bill, and we will call him that because, well, that’s his name. Bill has lived a very full life, he has lived, traveled, experienced so much and has been in love and loved by a wonderful woman. Let’s call her Mary. Yes, that’s her name too… They have felt what I can see is true, deep real love for one another for over 30 years. This is a real accomplishment in this day and age of disposable relationships. Commitment. They lived and loved and even fought and got mad too. The point is they chose to be happy.

Well, growing older has it’s challenges as many of us know. Bill, over the years has seen his body break down some. Over time his kidneys lost some of their function and had to start dialysis. No big deal, he and Mary handled it. They still did things, laughed, loved and lived a full life. She drove; he was the copilot, three times a week to dialysis. Recently Bill was served up what must be one of the toughest diagnoses a person could have. Cancer. Damn! Options are limited. Chemo, surgery, radiation, but only if they can find the source. One kicker, if you choose to treat the cancer, you cannot do your dialysis. Without Dialysis... Life expectancy is 4 weeks.

WOW! Talk about decisions. They really don’t come much tougher than this in my book. BTW The cancer was stage 4 and left untreated would take him in 6-8 weeks.

Talk about lose/lose. Bill chose to turn it into a win/win. This is what I mean by choosing to be happy. Bill chose to hang in there, not treat the cancer with chemo and finally stop dialysis. During this time he had a loving family all around him, continued to tell jokes, make everyone else smile with his strength and humor. He put his family at ease; put his family ahead of his needs. He was and is more concerned about Mary and the family than himself. This is choosing to be happy. He spread joy, peace, laughter and happiness to all that came by to visit and talk with him. Heck he was even telling jokes and making others laugh at every chance.

The point is while we can’t really control what happens, (Bill sure couldn't’t, in fact he had what I call a pretty crappy situation.) we can chose how we react to what happens. Choose to be happy. Bill has!

Now make the choice, Roll Up Your Sleeves and Get To Work!