INTER-DEPENDENCE, CO-DEPENDENCE and INDEPENDENCE

The critical difference between INTER-DEPENDENCE, CO-DEPENDENCE and INDEPENDENCE!

There are a lot of people who are unwittingly sabotaging their future relationship effort by the misunderstanding of very different terms and ideas when it comes to relationships. First.. Lets briefly define these terms.

Co-Dependent - Neither the man or the woman can do anything apart from each other. With the lack of support or motivation both of them will likely fail at achieving their individual aims that benefit the relationship. Its like being tied at the hip or by a rope. if one falls both fall. If one is late then both are late. If one is unsure then both are unsure.

Independent - This is where the person stays single or if they seek a relationship they assert that they don't need anybody which is the unhealthy extreme opposite co-dependency. This person sometimes seeks to cut even healthy ties, reliance and dependence to demonstrate that they are able to operate on their own. The fierce need to show their mate that they can survive without them often ends in the mate giving them what it seems like they want.

Inter-Dependent - Is a state where both partners are able to independently operate but are motivated by agreement and not need or desperation. They come together to do what is best for their relationship. They LIKE to be with their partner and prefer their company but are not emotionally crippled if it is not available as with co-dependence. This is the mature balance between co-dependency and independence.

Co-dependency and independence will likely cause you much headache with very little reward. Seek to find a reliable partner that you can depend on and work also to be a support for them while maintaining your own identity and carrying your weight in the relationship.


Reprinted from Relationship Matters  https://www.facebook.com/RelationshipsMattersByEngJack?hc_location=stream

Coach Rick Kolster is an executive coach and thought leader who works with business owners and executives to help them maximize their efforts, gain life balance and learn how they can be the best leader they can be.

THE BALD TRUTH - Working at it!

"No one falls in love by choice,
it is by CHANCE.
No one stays in love by chance,
It is by WORK.
And no one falls out of love by chance,
it is by CHOICE."

I recently read The Road Less Traveled. by Peck... Really good book.

I believe that we all fall in love at some point, and most fall in love unexpectedly, by surprise and live the honeymoon for some time, then the shine falls off the fun and the time we spend together is still good but now we are doing life. real life creeps into our day to day, at that moment we have to make a choice to work at love or not. The original eros love will fade, the ooh La La will diminish and what we have left is the chance to work on the real love, agape love.

This is where two have mutual respect and a deep abiding desire to be with the other. EVEN when there are things/stuff that we don't necessarily agree with about the other. Because it is work staying in the game.

I also believe that when we choose to stop working, communicating and trying... Love fades and withers and is gone. It becomes a choice to stop loving. Thus we fall out of love based on our choices not to accept, nurture, and develop a deeper love than the honeymoon love. When we do work at it, this is the love that really lasts.

Please feel free to share this to any and all.

That is the BALD TRUTH! Now Roll Up Your Sleeves and Get To Work!

Coach Rick
if you have any questions please feel free to contact me at rick@coachrick.net