The BALD TRUTH - INTER-DEPENDENCE, CO-DEPENDENCE and INDEPENDENCE

The critical difference between INTER-DEPENDENCE, CO-DEPENDENCE and INDEPENDENCE!

There are a lot of people who are unwittingly sabotaging their future relationship effort by the misunderstanding of very different terms and ideas when it comes to relationships. First.. Lets briefly define these terms.

Co-Dependent - Neither the man or the woman can do anything apart from each other. With the lack of support or motivation both of them will likely fail at achieving their individual aims that benefit the relationship. Its like being tied at the hip or by a rope. if one falls both fall. if one is late then both are late. If one is unsure then both are unsure.

Independent - This is where the person stays single or if they seek a relationship they assert that they don't need anybody which is the unhealthy extreme opposite co-dependency. This person sometimes seeks cut even healthy ties, reliance and dependence to demonstrate that they are able to operate on their own. The fierce need to show their mate that they can survive without them often ends in the mate giving them what it seems like they want.

Inter-Dependent - Is a state where both partners are able to independently operate but are motivated by agreement and not need or desperation. They come together to do what is best for their relationship. They LIKE to be with their partner and prefer their company but are not emotionally crippled if it is not available as with co-dependence. This is the mature balance between co-dependency and independence.

Co-dependency and independence will likely cause you much headache with very little reward. Seek to find a reliable partner that you can depend on and work also to be a support for them while maintaining your own identity and carrying your weight in the relationship.

Coach Rick Kolster, CBC is the founder of the Peak Performance Group. He speaks The BALD TRUTH and works with leaders to “Roll Up Your Sleeves and Get To Work!” 

Pre-order his new book "Roll Up Your Sleeves and Get To Work" here: www.rollupyoursleevesbook.com

THE BALD TRUTH - People in Hell

The other day I was reminded of some of the things that my dad used to say. I call them Dadism’s. He had plenty of them and they were pretty interesting.  Sometimes they were funny and sure could make me laugh, but as a young man, they were pretty confusing.  At the time I was a teenager and young man but now they seem to all make sense.  One of the “Dadism’s” he used to say all the time was “People in hell want ice water.”  I never knew what it meant when he would say it except I knew that I wasn't getting what I just asked for and that's what I think he was trying to tell me. He was letting me know that you don't always get what you ask for.

The one thing he did tell me was that I could always get what I worked for. One of the things he I came to realize was I could and would get what I needed.  What you work for, now this part would get you farther in life and just wanting.  Don’t get me wrong, it is important to want things and desire better for yourself and others. Like my father told me, you really can get whatever you want in life as long as you wake up and are willing to work for a definite purpose.

Getting what you want life is probably one of the things that we are going for daily.  What we look for in our lives are everyday things that we want.  People sometimes look for what they need but more often they really look for what they want to have. The important thing is to look at it from the perspective of what it is that you want out of your life and what are you willing to work for in your life.  What do you really really want out of life and are you really willing to buckle down, Roll Up Your Sleeves and Get To Work?  In order to have in your life these things it's all about the hard work,  it's all about focus and it's all about doing what it takes to get what you want.

That is what I took from a tough but fair father when he would tell me “People in Hell want ice water.”

Coach Rick Kolster, CBC is the founder of the Peak Performance Group. He speaks The BALD TRUTH and works with leaders to “Roll Up Your Sleeves and Get To Work!” 

Pre-order his new book "Roll Up Your Sleeves and Get To Work" here: www.rollupyoursleevesbook.com

Coach Rick Kolster is an executive coach and thought leader who works with business owners and executives to help them maximize their efforts, gain life balance and learn how they can be the best leader they can be. If you are ready to transform your life, reach out to Coach Rick.  Rick@CoachRickKolster.com or 817-749-7425

The BALD TRUTH - Choice

Choice is the greatest power God gave us. Too many of us just accept our lives-we don't become leaders of ourselves. As a result, we can't get out of our own way. Holocaust survivor Elie Wiesel wrote in Souls On Fire that when you die and go to meet your Maker, you're not going to be asked why you didn't become a Messiah or find a cure for cancer. All you're going to be asked is, "Why didn't you become you? Why didn't you become all that you are?" Fulfilling God's will for your life requires taking responsibility for yourself and your life. How do you do that? By saying yes to God first-then to yourself. Every time you say yes, you open yourself up to your God-given potential and to the greatest of possibilities. If you're used to saying no, you may find this difficult. If that is true in your case, then at least be willing to say "maybe." One day a father whose child was chronically ill asked Jesus to heal the child. "Jesus said to him, 'If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes.' Immediately the father of the child cried out and said with tears, 'Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!'" (Mark 9:23-24 NKJV). If you're a self-doubter, pray that same prayer. God will answer it. Never forget that you are unique, possessing talents, experiences, and opportunities that no one else has ever had-or ever will have. You're responsible to become all God made you to be, not only for your own benefit but for everyone else's.

"I have set before you life and death...choose life."Deuteronomy 30:19

Choose wisely 

Coach Rick Kolster, CBC is the founder of the Peak Performance Group. He speaks The BALD TRUTH and works with leaders to “Roll Up Your Sleeves and Get To Work!” 

Coach Rick Kolster is an executive coach and thought leader who works with business owners and executives to help them maximize their efforts, gain life balance and learn how they can be the best leader they can be. If you are ready to transform your life, reach out to Coach Rick.  Rick@CoachRickKolster.com or 817-749-7425

THE BALD TRUTH - Two words

Two words can make all the difference.  Thank You.

There are times when the absolute best course of action is to just say "Thank you".

Two powerful words that can change the course of a conversation. Often we given a compliment or even shown some act of kindness and just brush it off. It might be a kind word from someone about you, or a "pay it forward" act or even just common politeness.

Too often these days I continue to encounter a lack of common courtesy.  A simple "Thank you" would suffice and make my day.  I open a door for someone and they walk in without as much as a look or acknowledgement.  As if it was expected that I hold the door.  Humph!

Allowing a car to get that parking spot, or slow down so someone could get in front of you on the road or at the gym or in a line.  Not even nod or a wave.  How you can change someones day is to simply say "thank you"

Try it.  Next time someone does or says something nice.  Just say "Thank you"

That is the BALD TRUTH!    Now Roll Up Your Sleeves and Get To Work!

Coach Rick
if you have any questions please feel free to contact me at rick@coachrick.net

Coach Rick Kolster is an executive coach and thought leader who works with business owners and executives to help them maximize their efforts, gain life balance and learn how they can be the best leader they can be.

The BALD TRUTH - Mr PBJ

Snowball Express is a charity event that brings the surviving families of our fallen soldiers and heroes  into Dallas/Fort Worth for five days of fun and events.  1700 of them to be exact!

During this event I see so much happen that is good and good and funny. I learned from fellow NSA member Darren LaCroix that the humor is found in the problem and the serious in the solution.  I believe there is humor in the solution as well.

My first challenge.

Imagine you are a volunteer, trying to help wherever you can, however you can.  1700 family members are in line to be fed dinner, a Texas style BBQ dinner then walk over to see a rodeo.  Now you’ve got to know, some of these kids are not going to want BBQ. And guess what?   I found ALL of them!  Once one found me they ALL found me.  I was asked by a mom to help with finding an alternate food option (other than BBQ) for her daughter. Looking like a deer in the headlights I said what any good volunteer would say, “Sure, I can do that!”  HOLY COW I thought.  Now what?

Just where am I going to get an “alternate” food option for her daughter?  But I said yes, so off I went.  Now what?  I walked outside thinking I might see a fast food place.  Luckily, there was a hotel right near the venue.  I ran across the street and up to the front desk.  The desk clerk looked at me and asked “How can I help?” Normal answer, right?  I asked him, “Do you serve breakfast?”  Answer, “Yes.”  “OK” I said, “now I need a loaf of bread, some of those little cups of peanut butter you have on the buffet and some jelly.  Oh - and a knife too please.”  Alternate food option problem solved!  This is how I became known as “Mr. PBJ” at Snowball Express.

Now my second challenge

How do you move 1700 mothers and children, all of their baggage and accessories from a hotel to their flight home in less than 3 ½ hours?

Answer:  You call the local high school football team, ask for some volunteers, point them at the bags and people and tell them GO!  Then, sit back and watch the fun. This is exactly what happened at the Snowball Express charity event in December 2011. There was the best competition to see who could move the most bags from the buses to the ticket counter the fastest. Talk about funny! It was like watching newborn colts try to walk.  Legs, boxes and bags everywhere!

So you might be asking yourself, why should I volunteer? There are too many reasons to list but number one is this. It is the right thing to do – and its fun!  We all have a chance to make a difference; we've got to take it! It may also unknowingly lead to business somewhere down the road that you never even expected.

Who should you volunteer for? Pick your passion. Go with something that drives you, just like your business. What gets you going? That’s where you give your time.

Is there humor in volunteering?  Absolutely.  Just like me you will find humor in the most unlikely places. Be open and give back, make a difference. And always remember to smile and laugh. You never know who is watching.

PS:  BTW I am now known as PBJ to some wonderful kids.  I have come to love all my Snowball kids like my own. This is a blessing far greater than I ever deserve for making a couple peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

Coach Rick Kolster, CBC is the founder of the Peak Performance Group. He speaks The BALD TRUTH and works with leaders to “Roll Up Your Sleeves and Get To Work!” 

Coach Rick Kolster is an executive coach and thought leader who works with business owners and executives to help them maximize their efforts, gain life balance and learn how they can be the best leader they can be.

THE BALD TRUTH - Personal Branding

PERSONAL BRANDING

Personal Branding for Professional Success

The idea of a “personal Brand” is something we all understand… at least as it relates to celebrities.  Public figures like Madonna, Lebron James and even Dale Earnhart Jr. craft and maintain their brands as enthusiastically as the Coca Colas and Nike’s of the world.  But a personal brand for you and me?  Absolutely, says personal branding guru Peter Montoya.  The issue, in fact, isn’t whether to create a personal brand, but how to create the most effective one you can, he says.

“Everyone has a personal brand, whether they like it or not,” says Montoya.  In fact, I have worked very hard to brand myself as “Coach Rick” the Executive Coach.   Now where ever I go, invariably someone gets my weekly thought “The Bald Truth” (sign up here: http://bit.ly/1i1sulT ) or has seen/heard me speak.  My goal has been to craft the brand so that it creates a clear and memorable impression about who I am and what I do.  You can do the same whether you are a small business owner, solo entrepreneur or corporate executive.

A personal brand is “the powerful, clear positive idea that comes to mind whenever other people think of you,” Montoya explains.  It’s the values, abilities and actions you stand for, or, as he puts it, your personal brand is “who you are, what you do, and what make you different or how you create value for your target market.”

A critical aspect of “brand building” for small firms and solo entrepreneurs is the old stand-by: growing your network.  A crisply defined brand should make that process simpler – who you are and what you do will be easier to remember if you have done your brand homework – but it still requires getting your brand in front of people the old fashioned way, one handshake at a time.

Here are three tips for making the most of your personal brand to build your business, or to enhance or reinforce your value within your corporation:

1. Make sure that everything that surrounds your brand (your office, website, customer service group, etc) communicates the same brand
2. Build and nurture your professional network and ensure that all members understand your brand message.
3. Establish appropriate partnerships to extend your brand and gain complementary brand value.

A personal brand won’t necessarily turn you into the next Payton Manning – in fact, it probably won’t do a thing to make you and NFL quarterback – but it may be a valuable tool to define and refine what you do and how you tell your customers or employers about it.

That is the BALD TRUTH!    Now Roll Up Your Sleeves and Get To Work!

Coach Rick
if you have any questions please feel free to contact me at rick@coachrick.net

Coach Rick Kolster is an executive coach and thought leader who works with business owners and executives to help them maximize their efforts, gain life balance and learn how they can be the best leader they can be.

THE BALD TRUTH - BLAME, BLAME, BLAME

BLAME BLAME BLAME!!!  This is the reality of today's political arena.
The reality is the entire system is corrupt! Republican or Democrat, it does not matter, ALL are only out for their own selfish agendas.

Fear mongering (shut down everything), hurting the average citizen and posturing are the norm these days.  Placing blame rather than accepting responsibility has be come the norm and law of the land. Let's shut down the Washington Monument and all the war memorials, that will piss off some people and get some attention from the media. Then we can  really show how messed up the other side is.  We can blame them!!!!

Where is the leadership?  Where is Harry Truman, Eisenhower, Roosevelt and Lincoln when you need them.  These were leaders with both balls and brains who made the RIGHT things happen.  They looked for what was best for the country not for their own political gain. The entire debacle is a disgrace and embarrassment to the country. Politician today are acting like six year olds and running to tattle to mommy (the public) rather than doing what is right.

Is ObamaCare right?  Hell I don't know.  Is it good?  Time will tell. Is it in the best interest of the general population? Not sure there either.  Has it been an ugly piece of our history.  Absolutely!!!

Politics and selfish political agendas have divided this country and weakened us and put us in deeper debt.  Trillions of dollars we owe and we have no way of paying back. I think it is pretty easy to see if you spend more than you make it isn't going to end well.  We have made it easy to blame others.  I got this credit card and maxed it out but can't pay it back, it is the card company's fault for trusting me to use it right.  Hey I got approved for a mortgage that I know I couldn't afford. Sorry, not my fault, I wanted the big house and to have things I didn't earn and I was willing to go into debt (that I will probably never get to pay back) to have it! I'll leave this for the future generation to deal with.  It is simple to file bankruptcy today.  AL that does is put the burden on to responsible people to pay more for products and services to make up the losses incurred by the lenders.  SIMPLE MATH PEOPLE!!! SIMPLE MATH!!!

Washington politicians act the same way.  Spend what we don't have, let the future figure it out.  Move the debt ceiling out til next year, maybe we will figure it out by then.  HA!  Get your heads out of your ass and be responsible leaders or get out and let someone who will lead.  When put in charge, be in charge!!

I for one am tired of politician using scare tactics and threats to get their way.  BOTH SIDES are guilty!  How about a real leader who says stop the madness! Let's get this thing back on track!

Just my rant for today.

Coach Rick Kolster is an executive coach and thought leader who works with business owners and executives to help them maximize their efforts, gain life balance and learn how they can be the best leader they can be.