LOVE TOUGH
I believe in tough love.
If you are a leader, manager, coach, teacher or parent,
caring about someone often requires you to challenge and push them to
improve, grow and reach their full potential.
Even the best athletes in the world have a coach to push
them.
But for tough love to work, love must come first.
We must love
tough to bring out the best in those we lead!
If people know you care about them they will be more
receptive to you pushing them.
On the other hand if you put tough before love you're more likely to face resistance.
As Andy Stanley says, "Rules without relationship
leads to rebellion."
The old dictator tough, without love, style of leadership
no longer works.
Having spent time with a number of professional and college
sports teams it's clear that even athletes who seem to have it all want to
know that their coach cares about them. The best coaches love their players
and their players know it and play harder and are more loyal to that coach.
The same is true for education and business.
Research shows that test scores go up when students have a
relationship with their teacher.
Numerous engagement surveys show that people are more
engaged at work when they know their manager / boss cares about them.
So keep pushing your people to be their best. If you are
parent like me, keep pushing your kids to reach their full potential.
Your team needs your toughness to grow!
But remember to put love first. Make relationships a
priority.
Your love will create the right conditions for growth to
happen!
Love + Tough = Growth
Originally posted by Jon Gordon in his blog. Visit himthere at http://www.jongordon.com/blog/
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Friday, March 8, 2013
Love Tough
Monday, March 4, 2013
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Destiny
Destiny is something we all wonder about.
What is it? what will it be? Is it preordained, and mostly can we alter
it? Our destiny is what we choose it to be. Regardless of you belief
system from a spiritual or religious perspective your destiny is your own
and no one else’s. You are in control of it. If you see we are
heading down the path that doesn’t meet with your vision of who you want to be or
what you need/want to have it is your responsibility to change direction.
Each of us has the power to alter our destiny.
Bottom line, it is a decision. Your decision. No one else can change your
destiny. It is all you! The biggest challenge and first step is simple (yea right) It's just making a
decision. Deciding what your destiny will be. This ties back to
establishing goals and getting clarity with your goals.
Second is
accepting that you have the potential to make your destiny a reality or even being great. You have to want to be the
best you can be. For that, it has been said that it takes a commitment. Being the best is not a
sometime thing, it is something you strive for all the time. It is not a part
time job. It is a full time job and you must do what it take to be
great. It's doing the right things, all the time. Not a few of the right things some
of the time. You do the right things all the time. No excuses.
It is a decision to be great. You must say yes to
greatness. Then and only then you can move towards becoming great. It takes a
decision first. Once you have made that commitment, you have an amazing
power of that commitment to drive you, it is in your mind. Once you get this into your heart and mind it
becomes a part of you. The actions follow the commitment.
Vince Lombardi once said that “The quality of a person’s life is
in direct proportion to their commitment to excellence, regardless of their
chosen field of endeavor.”
Coach Rick Kolster is an executive coach who works with business owners and executives to help them maximize their efforts, gain life balance and learn how they can be the best leader they can be.
Rick@CoachRickkolster.com
www.CoachrickKolster.com
www.facebook.com/coachricksBALDTRUTH
Thursday, January 24, 2013
Principles
"In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock." -Thomas Jefferson
Principles are the foundation on which you should stand. A leaders principles (values) are clear and non-negotiable. They know what they stand for and what they will stand from others.
Are your principles clear? Do people know what you stand for? If not... Why not? Make it a priority to define your principle and then let people you lead know what they are.
I have four basic principles I have instilled into my children.
My children and the people I lead, know what is important and what I expect. In turn they know what to expect from me. This makes life so much simpler and less stressful.
What are your principles? Define them today!
Coach Rick Kolster is an executive coach who works with executives and business owners to help them gain life balance and learn how they can be the best leader they can be.
Rick@CoachRick.net
www.PeakPerformanceDevelopment.com
www.facebook.com/coachricksBALDTRUTH
Principles are the foundation on which you should stand. A leaders principles (values) are clear and non-negotiable. They know what they stand for and what they will stand from others.
Are your principles clear? Do people know what you stand for? If not... Why not? Make it a priority to define your principle and then let people you lead know what they are.
I have four basic principles I have instilled into my children.
- Respect for others, show it and give it.
- Honesty, be honest in all you do.
- Integrity, keep your word
- Communication, it must be open and truthful.
My children and the people I lead, know what is important and what I expect. In turn they know what to expect from me. This makes life so much simpler and less stressful.
What are your principles? Define them today!
Coach Rick Kolster is an executive coach who works with executives and business owners to help them gain life balance and learn how they can be the best leader they can be.
Rick@CoachRick.net
www.PeakPerformanceDevelopment.com
www.facebook.com/coachricksBALDTRUTH
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Accepting Responsibility
Accepting responsibility for our actions or the actions of others representing us is sometimes hard. We should remember that we are responsible for what transpires in our lives, both personally and professionally. If we're wrong, then we need to step up and accept the consequences of our actions. We lessen our credibility when we try to blame others for mistakes we make. The same holds true for the errors that others make, if they are acting on our behalf.
We're not perfect and we make mistakes and we will probably make some in the future. And making mistakes is okay as long as we accept them as ours and we learn from them. We only compound the problem when we shift the blame, when it is truly ours to accept. The lesson of accepting responsibility is a hard one, but in reality we are a better person as a result and will be forgiven quicker.
Respect, integrity and truthfulness are the values that shine when we accept responsibility for our actions and make right any wrongs. In our heart we know what we need to do and that feeling in our gut are our values reminding us of the right action we need to take. We should learn to trust our values for they are our legacy.
Reproduced with permission
Douglas N Petersen ©2012
All Rights Reserved
We're not perfect and we make mistakes and we will probably make some in the future. And making mistakes is okay as long as we accept them as ours and we learn from them. We only compound the problem when we shift the blame, when it is truly ours to accept. The lesson of accepting responsibility is a hard one, but in reality we are a better person as a result and will be forgiven quicker.
Respect, integrity and truthfulness are the values that shine when we accept responsibility for our actions and make right any wrongs. In our heart we know what we need to do and that feeling in our gut are our values reminding us of the right action we need to take. We should learn to trust our values for they are our legacy.
Reproduced with permission
Douglas N Petersen ©2012
All Rights Reserved
Sunday, February 12, 2012
THE BALD TRUTH - Working at it!
"No one falls in love by choice,
it is by CHANCE.
No one stays in love by chance,
It is by WORK.
And no one falls out of love by chance,
it is by CHOICE."
I recently read The Road Less Traveled. by Peck... Really good book.
I believe that we all fall in love at some point, and most fall in love unexpectedly, by surprise and live the honeymoon for some time, then the shine falls off the fun and the time we spend together is still good but now we are doing life. real life creeps into our day to day, at that moment we have to make a choice to work at love or not. The original eros love will fade, the ooh La La will diminish and what we have left is the chance to work on the real love, agape love.
This is where two have mutual respect and a deep abiding desire to be with the other. EVEN when there are things/stuff that we don't necessarily agree with about the other. Because it is work staying in the game.
I also believe that when we choose to stop working, communicating and trying... Love fades and withers and is gone. It becomes a choice to stop loving. Thus we fall out of love based on our choices not to accept, nurture, and develop a deeper love than the honeymoon love. When we do work at it, this is the love that really lasts.
Please feel free to share this to any and all.
That is the BALD TRUTH! Now Roll Up Your Sleeves and Get To Work!
Coach Rick
if you have any questions please feel free to contact me at rick@coachrick.net
it is by CHANCE.
No one stays in love by chance,
It is by WORK.
And no one falls out of love by chance,
it is by CHOICE."
I recently read The Road Less Traveled. by Peck... Really good book.
I believe that we all fall in love at some point, and most fall in love unexpectedly, by surprise and live the honeymoon for some time, then the shine falls off the fun and the time we spend together is still good but now we are doing life. real life creeps into our day to day, at that moment we have to make a choice to work at love or not. The original eros love will fade, the ooh La La will diminish and what we have left is the chance to work on the real love, agape love.
This is where two have mutual respect and a deep abiding desire to be with the other. EVEN when there are things/stuff that we don't necessarily agree with about the other. Because it is work staying in the game.
I also believe that when we choose to stop working, communicating and trying... Love fades and withers and is gone. It becomes a choice to stop loving. Thus we fall out of love based on our choices not to accept, nurture, and develop a deeper love than the honeymoon love. When we do work at it, this is the love that really lasts.
Please feel free to share this to any and all.
That is the BALD TRUTH! Now Roll Up Your Sleeves and Get To Work!
Coach Rick
if you have any questions please feel free to contact me at rick@coachrick.net
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
The BALD TRUTH-Ignorance
Ignorance
The most painful experience I have ever had was caused by ignorance. Before you all jump on the “band wagon” and start saying how mean I am to say someone is ignorant, let’s just take a second to define “Ignorance”.
According to the always correct internet site Wikipedia…
Ok back to my story…
I have always had an approach in my life that I can and will take care of myself. I accept responsibility for my own well-being. In fact back in the 80’s while working in my first career in the restaurant business I experienced some major losses and financial struggles. So bad that I had my car repossessed, lost my apartment and my job and was crashing on a friend’s floor.
It was my ignorance that had gotten me there. I was uninformed or didn’t know the real consequences of not keeping up with my bills. I got to partying all the time, and neglected my responsibilities. This created a problem for me. Or problems… I was homeless, horseless and hopeless.
Ignorance isn’t just not having the facts; it is also taking actions on the wrong facts. Making decisions based on your own lack of information and being wrong. Because of this many make value judgments based on a lack of knowledge and assumptions, this can lead to anger, disappointment and even to hate.
Now hate is a strong word too. Hate can consume you and control you to the point of stealing all your time and energy away from you. It can and will suck the life out of you and with energy focused on the wrong things ultimately make you totally unproductive. This is what happened to me. I fell into a cycle of unproductivity and self-doubt that only a swift kick in the seat or smack upside the head was going to cure. Well that combo kick/smack came in the form of a man I will be forever grateful.
He probably doesn’t know this, nor have I ever told him but Dave Gilbert gave me hope in 1984. That’s right, hope. He believed in me and showed me. He saw something in me that had been push down so deep that I was spiraling out of control. He gave me a chance, hope for the future. He asked me to come work for him in the biggest, baddest nightclub in Houston, TX. He got me working, riding and living again. within a month I was back on track and even bought something to always remind myself that I can and will survive. See I had fallen into an unhealthy place physically and emotionally but he pulled me back up. For that I am grateful and forever in his debt.
Lastly, When you act and react without full info (ignorance) be prepared for the consequences. However, have hope that around the corner is that one person who has his or her hand out to help you out that will get you out of the hole you are in. Hope is the answer to ignorance. Folks have hope and give hope. Be a hope maker!
Until next time. That is the BALD TRUTH! Now Roll Up Your Sleeves and Get To Work
The most painful experience I have ever had was caused by ignorance. Before you all jump on the “band wagon” and start saying how mean I am to say someone is ignorant, let’s just take a second to define “Ignorance”.
According to the always correct internet site Wikipedia…
Ok back to my story…
I have always had an approach in my life that I can and will take care of myself. I accept responsibility for my own well-being. In fact back in the 80’s while working in my first career in the restaurant business I experienced some major losses and financial struggles. So bad that I had my car repossessed, lost my apartment and my job and was crashing on a friend’s floor.
It was my ignorance that had gotten me there. I was uninformed or didn’t know the real consequences of not keeping up with my bills. I got to partying all the time, and neglected my responsibilities. This created a problem for me. Or problems… I was homeless, horseless and hopeless.
Ignorance isn’t just not having the facts; it is also taking actions on the wrong facts. Making decisions based on your own lack of information and being wrong. Because of this many make value judgments based on a lack of knowledge and assumptions, this can lead to anger, disappointment and even to hate.
Now hate is a strong word too. Hate can consume you and control you to the point of stealing all your time and energy away from you. It can and will suck the life out of you and with energy focused on the wrong things ultimately make you totally unproductive. This is what happened to me. I fell into a cycle of unproductivity and self-doubt that only a swift kick in the seat or smack upside the head was going to cure. Well that combo kick/smack came in the form of a man I will be forever grateful.
He probably doesn’t know this, nor have I ever told him but Dave Gilbert gave me hope in 1984. That’s right, hope. He believed in me and showed me. He saw something in me that had been push down so deep that I was spiraling out of control. He gave me a chance, hope for the future. He asked me to come work for him in the biggest, baddest nightclub in Houston, TX. He got me working, riding and living again. within a month I was back on track and even bought something to always remind myself that I can and will survive. See I had fallen into an unhealthy place physically and emotionally but he pulled me back up. For that I am grateful and forever in his debt.
Lastly, When you act and react without full info (ignorance) be prepared for the consequences. However, have hope that around the corner is that one person who has his or her hand out to help you out that will get you out of the hole you are in. Hope is the answer to ignorance. Folks have hope and give hope. Be a hope maker!
Until next time. That is the BALD TRUTH! Now Roll Up Your Sleeves and Get To Work
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