I speak and converse with hundreds of people each week. Sometimes I get these amazing questions. Earlier this week I was asked one of those great thought provoking questions that made me take some time and reflect on it.
The question was "Is it VALUE that gives someone SUCCESS or its SUCCESS that gives someone VALUE.?"
What a great question. Now the question it self can be interpreted in a number of ways. First are we talking about value as a measured thing or are we talking about VALUES as in Core Values?
Next let's assess the word VALUE. What is VALUE and how can we define and measure it? Are we talking dollars? Are we talking ROI? Just what is the meaning of value?
Then how about VALUES? Should we have them? Do you have them? Are they clear? Do you use them as guides in your day to day decisions?
I'm going take this from a values perspective since this is a large part of my practice and what I help clients with each day.
So the question now asks: Is it a persons VALUES that gives them SUCCESS or its SUCCESS that gives someone their VALUES.?"
Simple, the only place the success comes before values is in the dictionary. You must know what you stand for and what is important before you will truly be successful. Now that is not to say that a person cannot make a lot, and I mean a lot of money or have the material things most would consider when they are successful. It's easy to acquire stuff, make money, look "successful". The true test is when you can answer the question "When you look in the mirror, do you really love that person that is looking back?"
Do you love yourself or do you just love the image you have of yourself? Success is intoxicating, money, fame fortune is intoxicating. Just look at professional athletes, well known actors, they all seem to be successful. All very good at what they do. At the top of their profession, only to end up in trouble, in jail, broke or worse dead. Were they successful? I will say NO! They were not!
They had stuff, fame fortune, people around them kissing their A** but inside they were most likely searching for happiness. When your values are clear, your decisions are easy. They follow what is important to you, what you stand for and you will have defined as that "line in the sand" that you will not cross. This allows you to have the money, fame, fortune, people kissing your A** and still be grounded having solid points and boundaries that will not be crossed.
So to live a life of success, first define your values, what is important to you, what is non negotiable, then you can base all your decision on the question: "Will this action violate any of my core values?" If not, then DO IT!
That's The BALD TRUTH
Rick Kolster, CBC is an executive
coach who works with business owners and executives to help them maximize their
efforts, gain life balance and learn how they can be the best leader they can
be. www.CoachRickKolster.com
www.facebook.com/coachricksBALDTRUTH
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
Friday, March 8, 2013
Love Tough
LOVE TOUGH
I believe in tough love.
If you are a leader, manager, coach, teacher or parent,
caring about someone often requires you to challenge and push them to
improve, grow and reach their full potential.
Even the best athletes in the world have a coach to push
them.
But for tough love to work, love must come first.
We must love
tough to bring out the best in those we lead!
If people know you care about them they will be more
receptive to you pushing them.
On the other hand if you put tough before love you're more likely to face resistance.
As Andy Stanley says, "Rules without relationship
leads to rebellion."
The old dictator tough, without love, style of leadership
no longer works.
Having spent time with a number of professional and college
sports teams it's clear that even athletes who seem to have it all want to
know that their coach cares about them. The best coaches love their players
and their players know it and play harder and are more loyal to that coach.
The same is true for education and business.
Research shows that test scores go up when students have a
relationship with their teacher.
Numerous engagement surveys show that people are more
engaged at work when they know their manager / boss cares about them.
So keep pushing your people to be their best. If you are
parent like me, keep pushing your kids to reach their full potential.
Your team needs your toughness to grow!
But remember to put love first. Make relationships a
priority.
Your love will create the right conditions for growth to
happen!
Love + Tough = Growth
Originally posted by Jon Gordon in his blog. Visit himthere at http://www.jongordon.com/blog/
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